Swine flu. Run for my life!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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