I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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