season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
