The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize