Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
