What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
