I wish i was in the wii world.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Everyone says I win the strip club
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
