U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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