Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
