I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
