just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you didnt know i had herpes?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
