just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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