I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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