Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
