another moral hangover. fuck.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
