I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize