I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
