imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
His hands were made for my vagina.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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