guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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