It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
