hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
