Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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