Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
