I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
