I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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