That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
