glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Dignity is for republicans.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
