Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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