he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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