So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
