watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
