I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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