I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This girl is more easily done than said...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
