so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
