some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
