dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
