so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
