i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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