morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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