Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
