Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
