I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My dick has a subreddit
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
