I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
