Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I have grass duct taped all over my body
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm having to shit out rocks
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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