fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
