She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
