Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Text me some of your sweat
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
