Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
