after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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