..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
