you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
