During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
