y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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