Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
