did you get engaged???
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
