you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
