Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
